The Kings of Suck Rock.

I want to recognize a very important genre of music: suck rock.  Suck rock continues to capture the favor of rednecks and people with severe head injuries, despite falling under the self-explanatory suck rock umbrella. So my Shammy awards, for my current Top Five Suck Rock Bands:

5.  Kid Rock

Let's forget "Bawitdaba" and even the guy's name.

His latest song is all the evidence we need.

4. Puddle of Mudd

You're definitely headed for Suck Rock glory when Fred Durst is the one grooming your band.

And your name is Puddle of Mudd.

And you have songs like this.

3.  Creed

So many reasons.  So little motivation to waste my time writing them.

I'll boil all of this down to Scott Stapp.  The dude named his son Jagger.


2.  Hinder

These guys are too ridiculous to not be number two.

Don't know who these guys are?

Don't blame me for ear bleeds.


1.  Nickelback

Never a question.  They've been at the top of the Suck Rock world for a while now, and will be for quite some time.

Here's a great AC article about why Nickelback deserves this spot, the highlight of which is this:

"Now, before I keep ranting, it's important to note that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and different musical tastes are part of what makes the world so interesting. That being said, anyone who enjoys the music of Nickelback is a complete and utter retard."

And, a short funny video that sums up my feelings exactly, and even mentions Puddle of Mudd as well.  (explicit language)

Suck Rock Runners-up:

Papa Roach Insane Clown Posse My Chemical Romance Paris Hilton (now she normally wouldn't qualify for "rock," but when you try so hard at "suck" I just have to reward that)