Ghetto-fab.

I would like to write a love letter of sorts about my car. This sparkling silver '98 Chrysler Cirrus is at nearly 160,000 miles and still going. It has gone from a pretty nice hand-me-down from my dad to a no-bones-about-it ghetto car. Let's talk about my ghetto features:

Performance:

  • Burning a lot of oil now. Not enough to be really concerned, but still.
  • Gas mileage has dropped, but with a few tweaks I've brought it up to consistently run at about 26 mpg.
  • My anti-lock brakes light comes on after driving for about half a mile. This half a mile is also why I've been able to pass 2 car inspections.
  • Inevitably something always happens with the front wheels: CV joint, ball bearing, tie rod, whatever. I'm just waiting for the next one.

Exterior features:

  • Rust on the hood.
  • Rust on the rear wheel well.
  • Rust on pretty much everything underneath the car.
  • Scratches all along my back bumper, and a trunk liner that is falling apart due to the constant in-and-out of my obnoxiously large and heavy keyboard.
  • Hubcaps that have deteriorated so that they look black unless I use some serious, nuclear cleaner.
  • One hubcap cover is missing. (Although I've observed that this is a Cirrus-wide problem...only one missing is actually pretty good!)

Interior features:

  • Hardening and cracking leather. (And I treat this stuff every other week still...it is inevitable)
  • At the top of the backseat, the leather is splitting at the seams.
  • I have worn a hole through the driver's floor mat where my right foot sits. (Granted, I could replace this easily)
  • Worn-down steering wheel. (I use a steering wheel cover now)
  • The driver-side door clicks/snaps very loudly twice when you open and twice when you close because one of the pivoting "arms" is broken.
  • The passenger side door locks or unlocks only when it wants to.
  • While we're on the locks, the loop on my only working remote (the other died when I jumped into a pool with it in my pocket years ago) broke, and despite my best duct-taping efforts, consistently falls off my keychain. I have retired it.
  • The air conditioning doesn't work. (two summers without it now. I tried to get it fixed back in May but...I don't want to talk about that.)
  • The vents only work when put on HIGH. So it's full-on heat or nothing at all.
  • The volume knob only turns the volume UP. If someone accidentally turns the knob, it takes a good deal of fiddling, pleading, ears bleeding, and praying to get it back down to a reasonable level. (Solution: Use my tape deck to play my iPod and control the volume through the iPod)
  • Speaking of the tape deck, when the tape is in it makes an obnoxious, ongoing clicking/whirring noise...sometimes. I'm pretty much oblivious to it now, but anyone riding with me is quick to point it out. Also, my tape deck rejects the tape randomly from time to time. I've gone through a few different tape adapters, and it inevitably ends up doing this to every one.

All that being said, and with the exception of the anti-lock brakes, I maintain the car as best I can. And I keep the thing shiiiining inside. I do love this car.

Sort of.

Maybe.

On an unrelated note, is anyone selling a good car for cheap?