Colbert: "Only 6% of parents really love their children."

Some satirical perspective on the holidays, brought to you in the form of an excerpt from Mr. Stephen Colbert on his show last night:

I was so intrigued by an "info-graphic" in the 'Life' section of today's The USA Today.  I found it very "info-mative."  It says, "How far would you go to get the holiday toy your kid wants?"  62% said, "Save a little each month." 17% said, "Camp out all night at the store." 15% said they'd pay double the price.  And 6% said they would knock someone over to grab the last item.

That is sad.  I guess only 6% of parents really love their children.

This just goes to show you, folks...scrimp all you want, cut coupons from the Pennysaver, camp out, splurge--it don't matter!  Because 6% of us good parents will kidney punch you, bring you the tire iron, and then pry the gift from your cold, thrifty hands.  Merry Christmas--I will see you in hell!

And one of the reasons I love this season is because this is when consumers do God's work and put businesses back in the black.  You see, I may be a Christian, but I'm also a capitalist, and I will defend our capitalist system against all enemies...

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...Satirical (and hilarious), yet points to scary truths.

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